The Constant Soul
“Will you inform me about your safe return as soon as possible? She typed a text more in the tensed state. The reply was same, “Yes! Dear I will text you. Don’t be worried at all. I will be fine.” She read the message with tears warming her eyes, saying the earnest prayers for his life and success in the heart. Then sends another text, “May you remain in His Guard.” The last reply from him was, “Ameen! Honey, I love you so much. No worries, I will be back soon.” Ever since the operations have started in the country to counter the terrorism, this was the regular conversation between these two almost every other day. The most difficult part was to prepare for sleep after he had gone to another military expedition. Either she would read a book or spend time on the prayer mat while praying for his life and success both.
This was the same story with many of the family people whose sons, brothers, husbands or fiancés were directly involved in those operations. Sending them on the operations was a moment of courage of these soldiers’ family members. Her story was not different in any way. While going on operation, he would brace up her mind, say her blessings. He would instruct her to go the workplace with same peace like every day, assuring that he will come back anytime sooner or bit late. He gave her abundance of love and trust. He would do everything as per her choice lovingly but when it comes the duty. It was then her turn to stay obedient and never to question him. She must then had to show the courage. It was just one line from him, “Not a word of questioning here. This is my duty and I will go to do it.” There was hardly any time when they got disagreed or needed to explain things to each other. The moment anything was said, it was got understood too the very moment from both. Yet he had given most importance to the call of duty.
Amidst these upsetting times, life still was a beauty. Specially in the time when he was around in the city. She was the happiest then. He made it sure to visit her place. They sat together, and discussed all the issues happening around. She would definitely share something from her readings knowing that he could not have managed time to read anything due to his tough routine. She was contented to have him. However, she realized that one does not enjoy a normal romance stuff being with the soldiers. Love with the soldiers is spent more in prostration for the safe return. It is also an intercession of love embedded in prayers. It is not like normal people who would plan and execute any lunch or dinner together. It is more in waiting for the person to come back safe and see him all fine.
It was September and weather was getting better with the dissipating summer. She was busy with her routine. Suddenly, he informed to visit her. She got busy in the preparation. He came right on the given time as always. She found him quieter that day. She got intrigued but soon the reason of quietness was revealed to her. She kept staring him for minutes in a spell bound state. He then spoke, “See! I have great pain to leave you like this. It will always remain a deep sorrow in my heart that I could not make you mine in real. I am sad for you but look that what has come in between. Not any person but the call of duty. I must say sorry to you as I am causing you this enormous pain.” She was unable even to speak a single word but the tears kept dropping down from her eyes. She felt no strength to speak a word. She could speak only, how would I live without you? He gave a fainted-smile forcefully and said, Are you not myself? “Look my dear! You are more myself. I belong to you more than myself and you belong to me more than yourself. So there will be never a separation” He stopped and then said, “Please! Don’t wait for me any longer. I have no idea what will happen ahead.” He then hurriedly got up lest his resolution for the call of duty not get weakened. He stepped down the stairs. She ran to see him going away from the balcony. He was starting the car. She stood there still like any statue yet tears were not stopped. All the time, he kept his face down but then he looked her and reversed the car in speed. This was the time when she saw all the dreams of happiness going away. This was also the last time when she saw her soldier. His last look towards her explained all the pain that he endured silently, all alone.
The evening approached that day was unusually more silent and melancholic. Somehow, she managed to sleep. She received a text from him in the morning. These were the lines that she had read to him once in the good old times from one very famous play of Shakespeare. He sent with those lines a byline,
“Beshrew me but I love her heartily,
For she is wise, if I can judge of her,
And fair she is, if that mine eyes be true,
And true she is, as she hath proved herself:
And therefore like herself, wise, fair, and true,
Shall she be placed in my constant soul.”
“Dear! You will always remain my constant soul.”
This is one and only institution of Pakistan Army that has revamped every damage done to the country. Be at the young or senior officers, these are soldiers from the Pakistan Army who have shown some unbelievable acts in order to restore the peace in the country. There are soldiers who lived a dedicated life throughout and met the purpose of wearing the uniform. Choosing the call of duty over any loved one is not an easy thing but these soldiers have set example for every one out there. All those who invoke curses to the Armed Forces may send any of their loved ones in the operation-nights just to experience the state what the soldiers’ families go through.
All the love that never takes the form of any intimacy or physical relationship become the constant soul of one’s existence. Such bond then goes surpassing all the beauty of any union. This bond remains alive forever in the heart, mind and soul. It never fades away. It never ends. It ends actually when one ends. It never leaves. It leaves, when one leaves the world. Thus, it remains the constant pain indeed!
Pak Fouj Zindabad!
Writer is a passionate teacher. She writes on various topics. She can be reached at [email protected]